


He Did What He Had To

by winterfrostwidow



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Forbidden Love, Hurt, Love, Plotless, Romance, odin is an ass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-25 16:05:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13838265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterfrostwidow/pseuds/winterfrostwidow
Summary: Loki loves Natasha, but cannot be with her.





	He Did What He Had To

**Author's Note:**

> Do not cry.

"Loki." She whispered softly, weaving her delicate fingers through his dark locks. He moaned tiredly between her breasts, taking in the warmth of her scent that reminded him of what home truly felt like. His arms were circled protectively around her waist. And the feel of the quick rise & fall of her chest as she chuckled made him not want to leave just yet. "Wake up."

She looked down at him, curling a loose strand behind his ear as he tilted his head up to stare intently her. Her eyes glistened in amusement before they softened when he rose up to capture her lips with his hungrily. 

She weakly moaned into his hot mouth making him deepen the kiss, tasting her delicious tongue and lingering onto the kiss as if it'd last forever. Oh how he wished it did. But he had to leave before Odin discovered of his whereabouts. It would only get Natasha killed and Loki would be punished dearly. It was forbidden to be tangled with a Midgardian. And it hurt Loki greatly inside whenever he was reminded.

He sighed. "I must leave now."

Her lips smoothly slipped off his and their foreheads pressed against each other intimately. She closed her eyes and sighed. "When will you come back again?"

The time in Midgard worked differently from the time in Asgard. For him, the last time he'd seen her was two weeks ago, and she was three years younger. Only a month ago was she eighteen, the very first time he met her; rescued her from the claws of her superiors. Which now she claimed she owed him a debt.

"Soon I hope." He said softly, breathing in her sweet breath before he nestled his face in the crook of her neck and kissed there. The beating of her pulse comforted him. "I cannot go long without you."

"But I can." She said flatly.

He slowly pulled back from the embrace to look down at her. 

"I wait for you..." She swallowed. "every two, three years before you visit again..." Her moist eyes darted between his and his heart sank painfully. "But I, I sometimes give up. I try to forget you." Her voice cracked. Her lower lip started trembling and Loki didn't dare move a muscle as his eyes slowly widened. "You don't know how it feels like. You don't. To have something so right and feel so real, to have you... and then lose it all again like it was all in my head... Do you know how alone I feel?" Tears were freely running down her rosy cheeks. "How I have to grow myself up every time you abandon me."

"Natasha..." His mouth gaped and nothing else came out. He reached down to wipe those tears but she swatted his hand away.

"I want to know the truth. Please." She sniffed before wiping her tears away with her arm. "Who are you? How do you not age? What are these clothes you keep wearing? Are you part of my imagination? Because you disappear everytime someone else comes. Why do you have the name of a mythological Norse God? I know you, but I know nothing of you... How is it that I've never asked you this before?"

He slowly shook his head and moved from her, sitting on the edge of the bed with his head buried in his hands. 

The thing was, she had asked these questions before. She didn't remember because he made her forget every time she did.

But she couldn't know, she couldn't find out.

That knowlege itself will have her killed. Loki couldn't risk it. He loved her too much for that. Yes. What he oathed he'd never do; love a mortal. 

If he was a month or so younger, he would insult himself for being tangled with a Midgardian. No, he would curse himself for such degradation. For feeling even an ounce of compassion for a mortal, a diminutive creature. But he did not care about that anymore. He loved her and it hurt. He put her before himself, something he'd never done for anyone. 

He could have her hate him if it meant she would be safe, especially from Odin. That was what he did. She did not have to know that he was a God, son of Odin or brother of Thor. She would be killed by King Odin himself if she knew anything about the gods & Asgard. Odin would know if she knew. 

So Loki diminished from her sight and left her with unanswered questions. He left her to wonder if he would come back again, but he never did. Not the next year or the next years after that. And she grew to hate him, or perhaps hated herself more for being so weak. For letting herself be bare to someone who may not even exist in this world. Sentiments...can be cruel sometimes.

She hardened and grew thick-skinned. She never shed a single tear years after. 

But she didn't know that he still watched over her. She didn't know of the regret and pain he felt. He regretted ever meeting her, for if he didn't he wouldn't cry himself to sleep at night. Pathetic, really. But if she went through that too why couldn't he do the same?


End file.
